A good friend pointed out to me that "The Office" (mentioned below) is actually a hit NBC show, not FOX. I feel sheepish, yet obligated to make public my correction for readers who had already noticed the blunder. Oops! More proof that my head is often located somewhere in the upper-stratosphere as opposed to the solid ground on which facts tend to matter.
Thank you.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Adventures by the Water Cooler
“Looks like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.”
Ah, that great film, Office Space - made famous by its hilarious but relatable depiction of the daily grind - seems to have kicked off a new generation of comedies centered around us poor souls who get up everyday and do the 9 to 5 thing. Watching Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute duking it out on FOX’s hit show, “The Office," certainly entertains the masses but is office life realllllly that complex and entertaining? I am here to answer that question… and my answer is a definitive “yes!”
A few weeks ago, an email popped up in my inbox from our company’s property manager - a spry little firecracker by the name of Carol. Carol indicated in her email that we must now (and this is very important) remember to always leave the overhead light on in the break room as one of our regular temps was burned by some hot water dispensed by the water cooler. The hot and cold buttons, said she, were not clearly seen as there was only a dim lamp light in the kitchen. Upon pouring what she believed to be a cup of cool water, the temp proceeded to, not sip, but gulp down the boiling hot water. A witness said that she was speechless as she watched the temp gasping and clutching her throat.
I do not wish to be insensitive to the matter… I’m sure swallowing a mouthful of hot water really hurt. Who hasn’t accidentally taken too big of a sip of hot coffee only to find themselves gasping with tears in their eyes? I know I have. But I couldn’t help but find this incident… well, I’ll just say it – ridiculous. And I wanted to know more. So a handful of us (sheerly out of concern for the poor temp, of course) decided to perform a few tests. Using only the dim light of a floor lamp and my own two eyes, I glanced at the water cooler and examined the buttons. From what I could tell, the button with the picture of the coffee cup and three squiggly lines going up out of the cup probably indicated hot water; whereas, the button with the picture of a glass with ice cubes in it probably indicated cold water. But since they are pictures and not words, they are clearly left up to one's own interpretation. Add to this, the fact that there is one BIG button in the center of it all, which if you don’t push either of the smaller buttons, releases cool water by default. Now, let’s give this temp the benefit of the doubt and say that she probably has poor eyesight. So further testing was, of course, needed.
I found in my next test, that when one pushes the button for hot water, a red light comes on. In my experience, red is typically used to indicate heat. But it is possible the temp did not notice or think about this. The next step is to place a cup underneath the dispenser and push the center button to release the water. Not only does an insulated Styrofoam cup quickly begin to feel warmer in one’s hand, but a very distinct rising of steam also proceeds from the cup into one’s face as they lean over the dispenser. As a sidenote, on a couple of test runs, I even had a few drops of hot water misfire onto my hand, missing the cup altogether. Needless to say, I could feel that it was hot.
At this point, I feel I have given the water cooler every opportunity to deceive me... and yet it did not. And so I can only conclude that, leaving the overhead light on in the break room is a serious misuse of energy. That and we should probably start screening our temps a little more carefully.
Now, see? You didn’t think office life was really all that entertaining, did you? And while it gives me no pleasure to prove anyone wrong, I’m just glad that the truth is now out there.
Ah, that great film, Office Space - made famous by its hilarious but relatable depiction of the daily grind - seems to have kicked off a new generation of comedies centered around us poor souls who get up everyday and do the 9 to 5 thing. Watching Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute duking it out on FOX’s hit show, “The Office," certainly entertains the masses but is office life realllllly that complex and entertaining? I am here to answer that question… and my answer is a definitive “yes!”
A few weeks ago, an email popped up in my inbox from our company’s property manager - a spry little firecracker by the name of Carol. Carol indicated in her email that we must now (and this is very important) remember to always leave the overhead light on in the break room as one of our regular temps was burned by some hot water dispensed by the water cooler. The hot and cold buttons, said she, were not clearly seen as there was only a dim lamp light in the kitchen. Upon pouring what she believed to be a cup of cool water, the temp proceeded to, not sip, but gulp down the boiling hot water. A witness said that she was speechless as she watched the temp gasping and clutching her throat.
I do not wish to be insensitive to the matter… I’m sure swallowing a mouthful of hot water really hurt. Who hasn’t accidentally taken too big of a sip of hot coffee only to find themselves gasping with tears in their eyes? I know I have. But I couldn’t help but find this incident… well, I’ll just say it – ridiculous. And I wanted to know more. So a handful of us (sheerly out of concern for the poor temp, of course) decided to perform a few tests. Using only the dim light of a floor lamp and my own two eyes, I glanced at the water cooler and examined the buttons. From what I could tell, the button with the picture of the coffee cup and three squiggly lines going up out of the cup probably indicated hot water; whereas, the button with the picture of a glass with ice cubes in it probably indicated cold water. But since they are pictures and not words, they are clearly left up to one's own interpretation. Add to this, the fact that there is one BIG button in the center of it all, which if you don’t push either of the smaller buttons, releases cool water by default. Now, let’s give this temp the benefit of the doubt and say that she probably has poor eyesight. So further testing was, of course, needed.
I found in my next test, that when one pushes the button for hot water, a red light comes on. In my experience, red is typically used to indicate heat. But it is possible the temp did not notice or think about this. The next step is to place a cup underneath the dispenser and push the center button to release the water. Not only does an insulated Styrofoam cup quickly begin to feel warmer in one’s hand, but a very distinct rising of steam also proceeds from the cup into one’s face as they lean over the dispenser. As a sidenote, on a couple of test runs, I even had a few drops of hot water misfire onto my hand, missing the cup altogether. Needless to say, I could feel that it was hot.
At this point, I feel I have given the water cooler every opportunity to deceive me... and yet it did not. And so I can only conclude that, leaving the overhead light on in the break room is a serious misuse of energy. That and we should probably start screening our temps a little more carefully.
Now, see? You didn’t think office life was really all that entertaining, did you? And while it gives me no pleasure to prove anyone wrong, I’m just glad that the truth is now out there.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
If Kriss Kross can rap about it, I can blog about it
I saw Cloverfield last night… and don’t worry, there are no spoilers in this blog. I am highly against spoilers. But I will say enough, the movie left me feeling kind of weird and I did actually have nightmares last night. I don’t know if it was related to the movie or just pure coincidence and the full moon… but regardless… it lasted more or less all night.
So when my dreams went from one villainous danger to another, it was no surprise in the early morning hours to hear a youthful voice shrieking “HEY! HEY! HEYYYYY!” blending into all of the other terrifying images of the night. Not until, I realized it was really happening… right outside my window. At first, I lay in bed wondering what to do… do I dare look out the window? And finally, the repeated shouts turned into one long, wailing scream. It was definitely a small child.
I jumped out of bed and to the window, phone in hand to call 911 if necessary. It did, definitely sound like a small child was either being severely beaten out in my parking lot or worse. But when I looked outside, I saw nothing though I could still hear the screaming. Was it coming from inside another house? Unlikely - it was too clear. It had to be outdoors.
At last, I saw a small child running from behind one of our buildings… the buildling closest to the street. He was all bundled up with a gigantic backpack flopping around on his back as he ran.
He missed the bus...
…and he was devastated about it… like really, really devastated. He ran back to the front of his house and stood out on the sidewalk continuing to cry uncontrollably… if it was that loud from my bedroom window, I can only imagine what it sounded like right next to the poor kid.
My next concern was that he was standing in front of his house and there were no cars around. I wondered if his parents were even home or if he had a key to get back in. I started to get myself ready to go out there and let him use my phone… but before I got the chance, the crying stopped and he was gone. My hope is that he just went back inside his house… and I’m sure that’s the case. I live in a safe neighborhood. There are only like 5 of us who live there now and we all know each other, but wow – to be that heartbroken over missing the bus.
The thing is, I would have reacted the same way as a child. I was a little melodramatic about that stuff. So all is well that ended well… but it still was kind of a bizarre thing to wake up to this morning. And it makes for what I consider to be a blog-worthy moment… brought to you by me.
Pray for snow. Talk soon.
So when my dreams went from one villainous danger to another, it was no surprise in the early morning hours to hear a youthful voice shrieking “HEY! HEY! HEYYYYY!” blending into all of the other terrifying images of the night. Not until, I realized it was really happening… right outside my window. At first, I lay in bed wondering what to do… do I dare look out the window? And finally, the repeated shouts turned into one long, wailing scream. It was definitely a small child.
I jumped out of bed and to the window, phone in hand to call 911 if necessary. It did, definitely sound like a small child was either being severely beaten out in my parking lot or worse. But when I looked outside, I saw nothing though I could still hear the screaming. Was it coming from inside another house? Unlikely - it was too clear. It had to be outdoors.
At last, I saw a small child running from behind one of our buildings… the buildling closest to the street. He was all bundled up with a gigantic backpack flopping around on his back as he ran.
He missed the bus...
…and he was devastated about it… like really, really devastated. He ran back to the front of his house and stood out on the sidewalk continuing to cry uncontrollably… if it was that loud from my bedroom window, I can only imagine what it sounded like right next to the poor kid.
My next concern was that he was standing in front of his house and there were no cars around. I wondered if his parents were even home or if he had a key to get back in. I started to get myself ready to go out there and let him use my phone… but before I got the chance, the crying stopped and he was gone. My hope is that he just went back inside his house… and I’m sure that’s the case. I live in a safe neighborhood. There are only like 5 of us who live there now and we all know each other, but wow – to be that heartbroken over missing the bus.
The thing is, I would have reacted the same way as a child. I was a little melodramatic about that stuff. So all is well that ended well… but it still was kind of a bizarre thing to wake up to this morning. And it makes for what I consider to be a blog-worthy moment… brought to you by me.
Pray for snow. Talk soon.
Friday, January 18, 2008
The Key To Happiness
Leave a half-eaten cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera sitting on your desk all day. The lasting aroma is sure to send happy shivers down your spine with every breath.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
my hands... they are chapped
Life at the coffee beanery has slowed to a crawl, but the problem is that we still have to wipe the counters down with bleach rags and it is the dead of winter. My hands are incessantly dry and I have spent millions (practically) on the search for the perfect moisturizer. It is the 21st century and call me a fool for thinking that modern science has come up with something by now that actually WORKS long term on dry skin.
But with all the extra time standing behind the counter NOT serving the customers who are NOT coming in to the store… I realized last night I don’t do this job for alllllll the extra money I get out of it. Sure, it helps the old pocket book… but somehow having a job like that makes me feel normal and more in my element. I’ve worked in an office the entire six years that I’ve been out of college and, in fact, I worked in an office while IN college as well… but for me… scatter-brained, attention-deficit, antsy, squirmy me… this feels good – to be up and people-watching and laughing at the rude customers or even just the dumb ones who come in and ask me if the Cinnamon Holiday Blend tastes like cinnamon. (I was given express permission… nay, ORDERED by my manager to tell such customers that it, in fact, tastes like Fruit Loops NOT cinnamon as the name suggests). I get to be one of those snobby, know-it-all baristas that everyone loves. And after a day of dealing with deadlines and meetings and post-it notes… it’s fun as heck (pardon the French).
So back to my poor little hands… I can't complain - I have worker’s hands… chapped, chafed, sad and in need of paraffin - proof that I do more than sit at an office all day punching out emails and printing reports. And for some reason, that makes me feel good inside… like there is a struggle going on in my life that I have to work extra hard for and really the paycheck is just a bonus to all of that. Besides… every girl looks cuter serving coffee than she does standing by a water cooler under the glare of fluorescent lighting…
But with all the extra time standing behind the counter NOT serving the customers who are NOT coming in to the store… I realized last night I don’t do this job for alllllll the extra money I get out of it. Sure, it helps the old pocket book… but somehow having a job like that makes me feel normal and more in my element. I’ve worked in an office the entire six years that I’ve been out of college and, in fact, I worked in an office while IN college as well… but for me… scatter-brained, attention-deficit, antsy, squirmy me… this feels good – to be up and people-watching and laughing at the rude customers or even just the dumb ones who come in and ask me if the Cinnamon Holiday Blend tastes like cinnamon. (I was given express permission… nay, ORDERED by my manager to tell such customers that it, in fact, tastes like Fruit Loops NOT cinnamon as the name suggests). I get to be one of those snobby, know-it-all baristas that everyone loves. And after a day of dealing with deadlines and meetings and post-it notes… it’s fun as heck (pardon the French).
So back to my poor little hands… I can't complain - I have worker’s hands… chapped, chafed, sad and in need of paraffin - proof that I do more than sit at an office all day punching out emails and printing reports. And for some reason, that makes me feel good inside… like there is a struggle going on in my life that I have to work extra hard for and really the paycheck is just a bonus to all of that. Besides… every girl looks cuter serving coffee than she does standing by a water cooler under the glare of fluorescent lighting…
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