letting go

today i started a new project that became a much bigger monster than i had anticipated. you see, i'm moving in a month and it never fails, every time i move, i look at all of the boxes i've had stored away not even knowing what's inside of them. each time, i throw away what i think is a lot, but somehow end up holding on to more than i probably should. my sincerest determination is to not become a pack rat and so i've come to have a low tolerance for clutter... but at the same time in my heart i am a sentimental person and can't help feeling like even the silliest of keepsakes makes my memories more tangible and therefore much sweeter and harder to let go of.

but i've come to learn that letting go is one of the greater of life's disciplines and though it may seem like self torture at times is a rewarding act of trust in God. letting go reminds me that i am not in control and by holding on, i am not trusting that God will keep those things in my heart that He has meant for me. i will hold on to a special object if it means enough to me, sure, but i'm not just talking about tangible things from the past. my heart gets cluttered with hopes and dreams for the future... so much that my feet feel heavy and i find it hard to walk in the present. i find myself bound by intertia and always waiting. i do not think this is what God wants for me... so i let go as an act of faith... my trust in God. i think this is a discipline that i'll be working on for some time now... :)