Friends

I spend a lot of time preoccupied with how I can be a better friend to people. Part of that is my tendency to fear any kind of disapproval from anyone. Simply put: I want people to like me. I want to be liked for me and not for having the ability to put on a great facade. This process, in effect, tends to involve a lot of denial of the self.

I was talking to a friend today about jealousy... Jealousy in friendships. This is one human frailty that I despise more than most. I despise it because of my own personal experience with it. I've seen jealousy drive a permanent wedge between people. Once someone succumbs to it, it is almost impossible to recover a relationship.

Why is that? Jealousy implies a complete lack of trust in people. So that's what it all comes down to. People want to be trusted. If they don't feel trusted, then they feel hurt. And that hurt leads to anger.

And as we all know, anger leads to the dark side. :)

So I said this of friendships... they are like sifting for gold. You are the screen that remains unchanged, unmoved... you are real, tangible, yourself and honest... Eventually, the bad friends get sifted through to reveal the true gold on the surface. The real people who see you for you are, trust you to be yourself and are willing to stick around even when you are not 100% perfect. And that's how I want people to like me... for silly, quirky, ridiculous me.